If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
