At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
