we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
