Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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