The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sext me about skeletons
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
