ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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