i don't like sucking hair
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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