Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
