How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
