Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
