Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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