My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
