I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
