ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
