She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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