I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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