I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
