I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize