Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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