laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
