dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
