Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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