is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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