is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
