We're facebook friends in real life
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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