YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
