weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Someone shattered a urinal.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
