Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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