is your mom at the bar?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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