I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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