Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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