idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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