My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
