There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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