Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
