doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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