He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
