do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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