yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
