Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
