i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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