I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
