So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
