Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He has the fingertips of a God
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