You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I smell like Dick and happiness
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