I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
