So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
