don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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