Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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