she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
