A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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