just come out here and I will go home with you...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
