I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
