he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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