he puts the penis in happiness.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
