White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I can't turn off my feet"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
