2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
