You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Girls should come with a carfax report
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
