he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
