i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
