i think my mom watched the whole time
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i dont even know how to be here
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
