Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
