she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
