I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dear god my vagina.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
