Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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