Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
