I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
