STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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