i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
