Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
