She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
