If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
