so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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