my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
